February 27, 1999
Deadbeat Dad’ Label is Grossly Unfair
The label “deadbeat dad” is a brutal accusation to levy against a man. All too often a loving and devoted father is placed in a position in which compliance with a court order would strip him of his manhood and self-respect. I have been placed in such a position.
My divorce settlement was amicable for the most part, ample visitation, assets fairly divided, even the amount of child support is not a problem. What the settlement lacked, however, is a simple thing called “shared parenting.” For my former wife and I to share responsibility and accountability for our child’s welfare must be just too logical for the judicial system to grasp.
I don’t drink, use drugs, nor am I abusive. I am, however, a recovering alcoholic (sober 12 years now). Because of alcoholism I have a checkered and colorful past, including run-ins with the law. My wife wanted full custody of out daughter, the court saw my record and rubber stamped another case. When I look around our fair city I see men fathering children that shouldn’t be allowed to raise dogs, yet the government takes a child away from me, the best father in town (there may be equals, but there are none better).
I went to parenting classes and anger management classes. I have jumped through so many hoops to get my kid back I should join the circus. All to no avail. So I am placing my child support payments in escrow until the time a shared-parenting plan is issued. Not only do I accept my responsibility as a father, I embrace it, and I want my kid back.